The Garter Toss: What It Is, Where It Came From, and Whether You Should Do It

Few wedding traditions generate as much debate as the garter toss. Some couples treat it as a harmless bit of reception theatre. Others quietly cross it off the timeline before their planner even asks. And a growing number have never seen one in person — they only know it from wedding movies and secondhand descriptions that range from "fun" to "deeply uncomfortable."

The truth is, the garter toss carries centuries of history, and not all of it is charming. Understanding where the tradition comes from — and why it persists — makes it easier to decide whether it belongs at your wedding, and what you might do instead.

This article is part of our History of Weddings series, where we trace how the rituals we take for granted got their start.

The History of the Bouquet Toss: From Flower Theft to Feminist Rebellion

Photo Credit: Esther Gibbons

What Is the Garter Toss?

The garter toss is a wedding reception tradition in which the groom removes a garter — a decorative band worn on the bride's upper thigh — and throws it to a group of unmarried male guests. The man who catches it is said to be the next to marry, mirroring the bouquet toss tradition for women.

In practice, it usually goes like this: the bride sits in a chair at the centre of the dance floor, the groom reaches under her dress to slide the garter off — sometimes using his hands, sometimes his teeth — and then tosses it over his shoulder into a crowd of single men. At some weddings, the man who catches the garter then places it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet, escalating the spectacle further.

It typically happens mid-reception, often back-to-back with the bouquet toss, and it is almost always performed in front of the full guest list.

That's the mechanics. The meaning behind it is more complicated.

The Origins: Medieval Proof of Consummation

The garter toss didn't begin as lighthearted fun. In medieval Europe, it was tied directly to the consummation of a marriage — a public concern in an era when unions were legal contracts between families, not private matters between two people.

After the wedding ceremony, guests would escort the couple to their bedchamber in a ritual known as the "bedding ceremony." The crowd — sometimes including family members, clergy, and local dignitaries — waited nearby for evidence that the marriage had been physically consummated. A piece of the bride's clothing, often the garter or stocking, served as that proof.

Over time, the custom grew more aggressive. Guests didn't wait for the garter to be offered — they grabbed at the bride's clothing themselves, sometimes before the couple even reached the bedroom. Accounts from the period describe guests tearing at the bride's dress in the rush to claim a piece of fabric as a souvenir or good luck token.

The bride tossing the garter preemptively was, in this context, an act of self-preservation. By throwing it to the crowd, she could control the moment rather than be subjected to it. What we now see as a playful toss started as a woman's strategy to keep a mob at arm's length.

How the Tradition Evolved: 17th to 20th Century

As European weddings became more formalized and influenced by Christian ceremony, the overtly sexual aspects of the bedding ritual faded — but the garter survived, repackaged as a symbol of good fortune.

By the 17th and 18th centuries, possessing a piece of the bride's attire was widely believed to bring luck in love. The garter became the accepted token because it was intimate enough to carry symbolic weight but small enough to toss. The groom took over the removal — a shift that repositioned the act as something the couple did together, though the power dynamics remained lopsided. The bride sat. The groom performed. The crowd watched.

In British and French wedding traditions, the garter toss became a standard fixture, part of a broader set of rituals that also included the wedding superstitions around "something old, something new" and the scramble for wedding favours.

By the mid-20th century, North American weddings had absorbed the tradition fully. The garter toss became a programmed reception moment, sandwiched between the cake cutting and the last dance. Some weddings leaned into it as comedy — novelty garters, exaggerated music cues, grooms hamming it up with theatrical crawls under the dress. Others paired it with the "garter placement" tradition, where the male guest who caught the garter placed it on the leg of the bouquet catcher while the crowd cheered or cringed, depending on the room.

For decades, it was simply what you did at a wedding. Nobody questioned it much, because nobody questioned most wedding reception traditions until relatively recently.

The History of the Garter Toss: From Medieval Proof to Modern Cringe

Photo Credit: Cathy Lessard

Is the Garter Toss Inappropriate?

This is one of the most common questions couples ask when building their reception timeline — and the honest answer is: it depends on who you ask, but the trend is clear.

The core discomfort comes from the act itself. A groom reaching under a bride's dress in front of an audience — including grandparents, coworkers, and children — reads differently in 2026 than it did in 1986. The tradition assumes a heterosexual couple. It frames the bride as passive and the groom as performer. And it puts a private, intimate gesture on public display in a way that many guests find awkward to witness, even if the couple themselves are fine with it.

There's also the question of consent beyond the couple. The garter placement tradition, where a stranger slides a garter up another stranger's leg, involves two people who didn't agree to that interaction. Even when everyone laughs, the laughter can mask genuine discomfort — especially among younger guests who are more attuned to questions of bodily autonomy and consent.

None of this means the garter toss is inherently wrong. Couples who enjoy it and whose guests are on board with it can absolutely make it work. But the reason so many couples are skipping it isn't generational squeamishness — it's a legitimate reassessment of what the tradition communicates.

What Canadian Couples Are Doing Instead

Across Canada, the garter toss is increasingly absent from reception timelines. Some couples simply skip it and don't replace it with anything — the reception flows just fine without it. Others swap in alternatives that keep the group energy without the baggage.

The anniversary dance is one of the most popular replacements. All married or partnered couples take the floor, and the DJ eliminates them by years together — "sit down if you've been together less than five years," and so on — until the longest-partnered couple is the last standing. It celebrates enduring love rather than singling out the unmarried, and it tends to produce a genuinely emotional moment rather than a performative one.

The shoe game has also become a go-to for couples who want interactive reception entertainment. The couple sits back-to-back, each holding one of their own shoes and one of their partner's, and answers questions by raising the shoe of whoever they think fits — "who said 'I love you' first?" It's personal, it's funny, and guests actually enjoy watching it.

Some couples keep the toss format but change what's being thrown. A signed hockey puck. A stuffed animal. A bottle of whisky. The garter is gone, but the energy of a crowd moment stays.

Others have replaced both the garter and bouquet tosses with a group send-off — sparklers, confetti, or a tunnel of guests — that includes everyone rather than dividing the room by gender and relationship status.

And some couples do still include the garter toss, but on their own terms: skipping the removal spectacle and simply tossing it without the under-the-dress theatrics, or keeping it as a private moment between the two of them that never makes it to the dance floor at all.

The through-line in all of these choices is intentionality. Canadian couples in 2026 aren't reflexively following a script — they're curating their receptions around what actually reflects their relationship.

Photo Credit: Kayla Bowie

A Photographer's Perspective

For wedding photographers, the garter toss is a moment that requires advance conversation. The best photographers discuss it during timeline planning, not because they have an opinion on whether the couple should do it, but because how the moment is handled affects the images that result from it.

When the garter toss is included, it can produce high-energy, candid shots — the catch, the crowd reaction, the couple laughing. But it can also produce photos the couple doesn't love in hindsight. A skilled photographer knows how to shoot the moment in a way that captures the fun without leaning into angles that feel exploitative or embarrassing.

When the garter toss is skipped, that block of time opens up. Experienced photographers often suggest using those fifteen to twenty minutes for sunset portraits, a quiet moment together between courses, or simply more time on the dance floor — moments that tend to produce the images couples reach for years later.

Either way, the conversation matters. A photographer who asks about the garter toss during planning isn't being presumptuous — they're doing their job. If you're looking for a photographer who approaches your timeline with this kind of care, the CWP member directory is a good place to start. Every photographer listed has been vetted through the Canadian Wedding Photography Awards program and understands how to navigate these decisions with professionalism.

Continue Planning Your Wedding

Ready to find a photographer who'll document your day — garter toss or not — with skill and intention? Browse the CWP member directory or read our guide: How to Find the Perfect Wedding Photographer: The Ultimate Guide to Making the Right Choice.

The Garter Toss: What It Is, Where It Came From, and Whether You Should Do It